Some one said that they didn't like the blogs as well as the journals but i think the opposite. I liked the journals but i like the blog even better. I made it easy for myself because i set my blog as my homepage. That made it easy for me because whenever i got online, which is a million times a day, it was easy to just type out a post. I think that i might even keep up with the blogs after i have to. I might start a new one that's not even public. just like an inline diary i guess. I think it will be interesting to go back and read it a couple years for now, and maybe eventually share it with others. I don't want a physical journal because someone always seems to find it and read it!

I have no more classes. And i don't have any real exams. I only have one regular art history test next week during an exam time. I am stuck up in Richmond without a car. I have to find a way home to get my car so i can drive back up, take my one test next Tuesday, and move all of my stuff out of my dorm by myself. I have nowhere to park my car, which is a big truck. I plan on going to belle isle every day the rest of the week but ive herd that it is going to rain. Basically i am going to be bored as shit for the next week and i am going to go completely broke. As soon as i get home i have to figure out the situation with my work so i can get back on the schedule as soon as possible. Summer is starting out with alot of stress.

I was scared to use the pictures on my oral presentation but i just decided t do it. I was pretty sure they would be effective and they were a good visual that showed exactly what my research was about. I didn't think about how they might be offensive to some untill i get in front of the class. I realized that though i had no problem with them, some people pay have a weak stomach or even a weak heart. Another thing is that the pictures were projected onto a huge screen instead of my small computer screen. I didn't even look at them up on the screen since i was talking but i bet they were even more graphic at that size. I think they flowed pretty well into my presentation, even though the presentation all together didn't flow very easy. At least they bought me some time!

i don't think my oral presentation on Friday was as bad as my last one, but it was still pretty bad. I don't even remember it i was so stressed before and i was like out of it while i was presenting. At least it's over with. i really hope that i never have to do an oral presentation again! or that i just get over being afraid of them! i don't know what it is i just reallly reaallyyy realllyy hate them. Oh well i guess ill just have to deal...

my sister sent me this website (http://www.ferryhalim.com/orisinal/) like a week ago and its sad how much I've been playing the games on it. I keep my roommate up because i click the mouse so hard. There alot of things like this that i spend time on, time i should use for work. like the peacock picture I painted yesterday for my friend...
I just filled out my planner/ to do list for next week and i have ALOT stuff that needs to get done. I will have absolutely no time at all for things like these. At least it will all be over soon. I can smell summer

The peer revision was helpful once again. It told be what i knew of already knew but what i needed to be told. I should of started off with better topic. This paper wold of been much much much easier. I was just trying to do something different , but it did not pay off this time at all. At the beginning it really did make sense to me like at least in my head it all fit together, i just can't get my idea and thought across clearly. I am currently sitting in the laundry room, still trying to revise my whole paper.

what kind of questions lend themselves to academic research? not the one i picked! I had a feeling it wouldn't really work out and should of not been dumb and picked s better topic. I liked my topic it just is way to broad. I just went at it completely wrong. I reeeealy wish i could just start over. I basically am doing that anyway. I am spending today on my 2nd Draft because i have to post it by 11:59 tonight. It really will be like another first draft. So far i am still trying to come up with a concrete topic/question that i can find good sources on. uhhhgg

easter

This is my sisters new baby bunny Oscar. sooo CUTE, and just in time for Easter. It was hard getting home. This is the first year ever that my spring break didn't start on holy Thursday. It's weird, i just assumed we would have an Easter break. Oh well, i guess I'll have to plan better next year.

you can still maintain your "voice" in a formal piece of writing. You still set the tone of your paper through how you write it, even if it has to be all proper and stuff. You can make it really boring if you don't show some of your personality through in your writing. The paper has to be somewhat interesting if anybody's gonna read it. You just have to find little ways to add your flair to the paper without denoting its credibility.

This is what i did today instead of doing homework. I really should jump on all the work i have due soon though... like my research paper 1st draft!

The article was interesting but analyzing it was kind of weird. First of, i got pissed that twice she use Madonna as sort of a negative answer. She says that popular culture gives women the message that is is " better to be popular sexy and "cool" than to be intelligent accomplished, and outspoken: Madonna has replaced June Alyson." Diane Ravitch was born in 1938, which makes her pretty damn old. I don't know who the hell June Alyson is, but I do know that Madonna is intelligent, and definitely is accomplished. I don't know what the main question of the essay is. Are "smart" girls looked down on at school? Are smart black kids looked down on at school? Is academic achievement going down? What are we doing about it? What should w do about it? How is this effecting our economy? There are a lot of different ideas addressed in this essay.

I think the second essay, " The Unjustified Iraq War," was better. The Works cited was more extensive and it just flowed way better. There was just more real information in it. The first paragraph starts of showing a little bit of the other side. It gives reasons why we went to war. The essay's argument is very clear, you can see it as soon as you read the title.I don't know if it is bias, or just truthful.

" Christian Institutions Benefit Toward American Society" was a decent essay. maybe i am wrong but it seemed to have some grammatical errors or maybe just some awkward wording. I felt like it repeated itself alot. There was some about the other side, but not much. And not enough to make the statement that it has caused more good than bad, because it was mostly just a list of the good. I dp agree with the argument in the paper though.

slaughterama= goodtimes

this weekend was insane. Slaughterama was ridiculous. it was sooooo fun but it was wild. It was exhausting though. Richmond has some pretty interesting festivities. There were a lot of dirty, stinky people down at the river. I've never seen so much public drunkenness in my life. i don't even have a bike so i had to walk there. There were so many people doing ridiculous stunts. bike jousting? there's Richmond for you...

The essay i turned in for Unit one was a piece of crap. I obviously didn't try very hard on it. It wasn't even argumentative, it was just information about myself. It wasn't well written it was pretty boring. It was interesting to read though. It had a message of change at the end of it, and i really think that that change has happened. I actually want to be proud of whatever i turn in now, and not just do the least amount of work possible.I still need much improvement.

developing an argument of your own

The reading was all some pretty basic information. The example wasn't a research paper but it helps to show how we can effectively put our arguments into out papers. It points out how to write your paper to your audience. You have to address them in a way that they will understand and point out all of the things they need to know. I wish i would have read this before coming up with my topic, but it will still help when i have to put my paper together. It helps with paragraph structure and flow.

ew

We just dissected fetal pigs in my bio lab. Not a good way to start out the day. I couldn't make the alternate lab on the computer because it's at night. I feel pretty nauseous and I'm pretty sure i am scared for life. I especially got sick when we had o break the jaw open and i herd the crunch. uhhhggg i am probably not eating today. OK, so here's a fun fact... In Jeffrey Dahmer's last interview before his death, he told Dateline NBC this - "In ninth grade biology class, we had the usual dissection of fetal pigs. I took home the skeleton. Started branching out with dogs, cats—I suppose it could have turned into a normal hobby like taxidermy, but instead it became this. I don't know why. It became a compulsion." He said that he enjoyed the power and excitement he got when cutting up animals and fantasized about cutting up human bodies. SICKKK. why can't we just look at the pictures?

i sent in my art school application for next fall and im just going to assume that i am not going to get in. They don't accept transfers as easily and it's already really hard to get into. I think my portfolio was pretty good i just know that my GPA wasn't up to par last semester and it sucks that that will effect my chances.Oh, well at least i tried.

i hate oral presentations. i mean i knew everything i should of done, and i practiced, but i just will always suck at giving oral presentations. i mean at least i did it and i really did try to do my best and i thought i would do fine but i really didn't. i get too scared, i really don't know of what though. I think that the the summaries i gave were to general. I summarized the whole source instead of just the parts i would use. I can see how this would make my topic seem scattered. Also, it might just be a little too broad. I'm editing my summaries so hopefully my topic with start coming together and making sense. If not i will have to make my paper more focused on one of the ideas in my research.

i have to work on alot for my research presentation. I am usually horrible at any oral presentations, but im really gonna try hard to do ok on this one. I'm just gonna make sure that i know all of the information i was given from front to back so that i will be somewhat confident about what im talking about. I think i'm gonna use note cards, but probably not a powerpoint. I want to see how other people do theirs first, but i'm signed up for the first day to make myself just get it over with. This won't be too hard.

it's crazy to think that we only have like five weeks of school left. This year, especially this semester, has gone by soooo fast. I guess everything seems to of gone by fast after it's happened. Like all of highschool did. Soon we will no longer be freshman, thank god. I am finally getting my schoolwork together. This semester my grades are alot better than last semester. It sucks that i have to turn in my art application in now because my gpa was lower than it should of been last semester. I am retaking that class now and i have an A so at least the one bad grade i got will be replaced. I am just trying to keep focused and get through these next couple of weeks. I am currently apartment searching and it is really hard to find 3 bedroom apartments. I feel like i have alot hanging over my head right now and im sure i will feel that way untill this year is over.

peer edit

The peer editing helped me to see what i was missing. I thought that maybe my summaries were too long but i think they're ok. One of the people who edited mine figured out what my topic was and one of them couldn't. I fixed it a little and tried to make my topic more clearer in my assessment of the source so that hopefully whoever gets my topic tomorrow won't be confused. I'm finding it a little hard to find more sources that i want to use so i have to work on that.

I think that my first 3 annotated bibliographies might actually be too long. I don't know if i would be able to pinpoint my research question by just looking at my sources. It's hard because there's not really a source that is exactly about what my question is. My question is how does censorship in the media affect the American culture. I'm trying to research how the government censors us, why, and how that influences our perceptions and our lives. I hope that i can bring my paper, and my sources, together when i have to.

i think my first annotated bibliography was actually too long. it was more than a page and it wasn't even double spaced. I think i just got too carried away in the summary section. There was alot of information and i wasnt sure if we were supposed to put all of the information we are going to use for are paper in the summary or not. I'm used to annotated bibliographies being about a paragraph long and just briefly saying what the source is about, whether it's credible, and whether it's useful. I'm glad that one of my sources is a movie because usually i only find good sources online. I hope that whoever gets my bibliography will be be able to understand what im getting to in my paper.

annotated bib

It was pretty hard for me to pick a topic, as usual. I ended up just making my topic more specific. The first source i used was a documentary that was very interesting so it wasn't hard to pay attention or anything. It was hard taking notes though i had to pause it alot. I am looking for more sources and i have found a lot i am just deciding which ones to use. I'm kind of glad that we're using other peoples information for out oral presentations. I think because now we don't really have a way to prepare to far ahead of time so i wont like memorize something and get nervous. We're just gonna have to like pull it together sort of. I've learned alot of thing i had no idea about before doing this research and im glad that i found someting that wasn't boring to me.

mid-term self evaluation

In general, i am doing alot better in school this semester. I think its because i am taking more hours. Last semester i only had 13 and this semester i have 17. I think having more to do makes me actually keep up with my work. when i had alot of free time it made me do alot of noting. Now I'm more used to living here and scheduling my time. I can definitely still do better than i am though. I need to get my shit together. After todays meeting, i realized that i definitely need to try really hard in participating in class. Its not that hard, i just need to be aware and do it. I also really need to find a research topic that i am interested in because i know i will do better if i am. I will get sooo bored if i just settle with a topic. I am planning on getting all As and Bs this semester, and if i keep trying i am pretty sure i can do it.

There is alot of bullshit on the internet. I question almost everything i see on the web. Anyone can put anything on the internet. Especially when it comes to sketch things like Wikipedia, anyone can edit it.Its valuable to be able to pick out phony information on the internet, especially if your doing research. When it comes to things like celebrity gossip, you'll never know if something is true or not. unless its on Perez Hilton.. haah

There was some important information in the evaluating sources links. The first one made a point, that print sources are very useful, and more reliable than internet sources. I think that using the internet for research is just so easy now that other forms of information are used way less.Also, if you are careful on the internet, and know how to use reliable sources you should be safe finding valid information. There are several ways to see if something you find in the internet i credible or not. Sources are what make a research paper and you cannot have a good one without good sources. It is crucial to be able to pick out and find the right facts is your paper is going to be credible.

I have no idea what i am going to do my research paper on. I like doing research papers, especially if it's something I'm interested in. I want to pick something that i don't know much about, but that there is a lot of good information available on. I want to pick something that others will find interesting too and something that is relevant to out time. I think picking a topic will be hard so i want to make sure i pick a good one.I'm going to have to research topics.

Lent

Tomorrow is ash Wednesday and its hard to get to mass. I have to go to the 5:15 service and i have class until 5:15 so I'm going to have to leave a little bit early or something. I'm used to mass being a part of school. I've never missed a holy day of obligation because we've always had school masses. I wish i went to church more often here, there is a beautiful church right across the street from me. I have to start getting my shit together and prioritizing my life. I need to start taking my medicine everyday and keeping a good schedule. For lent i am going on an intense diet, and hopefully i can keep up with it. I want to loose 25 pounds by June and that will be preety hard to do living off of a meal plan. I'll just have to find time to work out. I am also going to drink only one soda a day, and i am going to significantly cut down on the time i spend on facebook because i think that it's a problem. Hopefully Lent will be a time of change for me this year.

hahaha

haha i love Paula Deen

Glass Menagerie

I couldn't go to the play on Friday because i had to go home for the weekend. I went to the last showing on Sunday at three with my older sister Rachel who goes here. I really like the set up in that theater. I sat in the second to last row so i was really high up in the chairs. I actually started to like the play at the beginning. It was very well done. The show was pretty long for my liking, its hard for me to pay attention or sit still like that for that long. The second of the play just kind of annoying. that guy was so over enthusiastic he just kind bugged me. Any the mother annoyed me from the beginning. I could see some of myself in the girl because i get very anxious over stupid things. I also still don't really understand the ending. I think that guy is a prick if he just left his family like that. I see why we went to this play, it was a unique telling of a personal memoir.

blahh

I don't know what i was supposed to be writing in here. We were switching from Unit 1 to Unit 2. I want to get my paper back tomorrow so i can fix it up. I can't believe that we are almost at mid-term of this semester. I have 17 credit hours this semester and i feel like i have less work than last semester. I'm pretty sure it will all be catching up with me soon. I can't wait until spring break. I was going to go somewhere but now i just want to go home.

The Circus is coming to town! I hate the circus and if i find a ride i am going to go to the demonstration against tomorow. The circus teaches children hate and violence towards animals. They waste the animals life for their own profit and it makes me sick. Barnum and Bailey's circus has blatantly displayed abuse and the government has done nothing to stop it. I think that animal slavery is sick

Practice exam

I think i spent about 90 percent of the fifty minutes on my first essay. The practice exam definitely showed me that i need to get my shit together before Friday. I've started going through the chapters and highlighting anything important. I've also tabbed all the chapters and have wrote in some notes. I still have alot to do before the test. I just want to know the book in and out before the test. I've basically just been rereading through the stories one by one. Hopefully i do good and hopefully the questions aren't too hard.

sooo funny

Essay Study Questions

1. The setup of “The Dew Breaker” is very unique. Unlike in most authors, Danticat uses a number of different narrators to tell the story in pieces. Each section has its’ own voice. Each section has its own set of characters and its own significance to the novel as a whole. The separate stories aren’t in any sort of chronological order. They each abruptly begin one after the other. Her way of writing engages the reader into the story on a different level. The reader can see the different stories through the eyes of the different characters. To read something like this was is more affective in relating to the characters. It’s kind of like trying to take a walk in their shoes. Instead of getting an outside view of what happed you get a personal account, even if it is fiction. This book makes you think. It is like a puzzle, you have to put it together as you read it. I think that this style of writing definitely has a deeper impact on the reader.
2. The order of events in “The Dew Breaker” is set up in a unique way. What comes at the end of the story chronologically appears at the beginning of the book in the very first chapter. In the first section, “The Book of The Dead”, Ka’s father confesses his past to his daughter. Then the different chapters have their own stories of the victims of the Dew Breaker and how they were affected or just stories that relate to the story as a whole. The book slowly reveals how it all comes together. The book ends with the last of the horrible crimes that the dew breaker committed. I found the structure of the book to be very powerful. It really makes you think which keeps you engaged in the reading. Seeing this story in this different way makes you absorb its significance. If “The Dew Breaker” was written in chronological order it wouldn’t be very good and it wouldn’t really make a lot of sense.
3. Each of these characters have their own significance. Eric appears in a couple of the sections. In “Seven” he is the Husband who is being reunited with his wife. He is a janitor and his roommates are Dany and Michael. In water child he is the ex lover of Nadine and the father of her unborn baby. Nadine is a Haitian RN who is far from her parents in Port au Prince and morns the loss of her aborted baby. Nadine was one of Eric’s side women while his wife was gone who didn’t mean anything. Michael, the roommate is also mentioned in “Monkey tails.” Dany, the other roommate, is the main character on “ Night Talkers.” He goes to visit his Aunt back in Haiti to tell her that he thinks he found the dew breaker in Brooklyn. He lost his parents at a young age in a fire. His Aunt dies while he visits. Beatrice is the bridal seamstress. She lives her life in fear and is obviously damaged from her past. She also says that she has seen the Dew breaker in Brooklyn and that he is following her. Freda is the narrator of “Funeral Singers.” She is trying to get her high school diploma while she is twenty two years old. The Dew Breaker has affected all of them in some way (Freda, I’m not certain about) Their lives are all affected my their past and the different characters are connected through the stories. Ka’s father is the dew breaker. He was one of the torturers and even if he did not directly affect each of these characters he is connected to them all in some way.
4. The dew breaker tells Anne that he is one of those who escaped. In the book it says that , : One day he would try to make her understand why he’d put it like that. In many ways it was true. He has escaped from his life. He could no longer return to it, no longer wanted to.” The dew breaker did some horrific things that is certain. Maybe Anne wanted to save him or fix him. He helped her get to New York, they became friends and then it turned into love. Ka was their angel. We don’t know if she has made the connection that the dew breaker was the one who killed her brother. That was in the past. And it haunts their lives but this is also a story of forgiveness. She loves the man that did these things, but he is changed now. Time may not be able to heal all things but it can definitely make it better. His actions still affect the lives of many and there are so many people in real life that were and are affected by what really happened in Haiti. The last section brings us back to the very beginning of the story when Ka was on the phone with her mother.

me me me

there's this thing going around on facebook where you have to write 25 things about yourself and then tag 25 of your friends in it and they have to do it. here's mine :

1. I went to catholic school for 12 years.
2. I might miss my dog a little bit more than my family, and I feel bad about that
3. I’ve had major issues with my hair my whole life, but I just got a new hair cut and I am trying to work it
4. I’ve taken 6 different medications for ADHD and I think might have finally found the right one
5. Caffeine makes me tired, I swear
6. I bite my nails a lot, and even though I try to stop sometimes, I don’t think I ever will
7. I hate it when people wear red and green together when it’s not Christmas, or any other holiday colors
8. I have horrible anxiety
9. I miss home a lot more than I thought I would, since I was always trying to get away
10. I miss my friends even more. And I miss a lot of people that I never thought I would.
11. I’ve had two jobs and I feel that I have worked wayyy too much, especially last summer.
12. I love piercings and I want to get more but my body always rejects them
13. I have some alignment problem with my right hip and it really hurts sometimes.
14. I can’t and don’t really wear heels
15. I kind of hate being so tall
16. I spend far too much money on dumb things
17. my favorite color is purple, for now
18. I don’t ever really ever study or do a lot of schoolwork. I usually just do the minimum amount to get decent grades and that’s how it’s always been.
19. I wish I could be more productive
20. I really need my alone time
21. I have only a few friends that are close and a lot that are just…regular ones I guess
22. I try not let myself trust anyone too much
23. I’ve been single for almost a year now, and I think I want it to stay that way for a long time
24. Whenever I want something really bad, I get it, and then I don’t want it anymore.
25. I love sneezing and I get really upset when I can feel one coming but then it goes away.

I haven't done too much yet to personally prepare for the exam. I've read the book and done the stuff that we've done in class. this week has been so heck tick for me i've just had so much to do so i will probably put aside time closer to the test, like maybe Sunday, to really go over the material. I have been trying to reread some of the sections just to clarify some things and to remember everything because it seems like such a loooong time ago that i read the book.

I've taken alot of essay exams, especially in high school. I like them, I just hope i am well prepared for the questions. The handouts were pretty straight forward and simple. They said things like make sure you answer to question and plan ahead. I'm pretty good at structuring essays. I think an essay exam is perfect for this book because there are sooo many facts and names that it would get confusing trying to memorize little details for a multiple choice test. I think we are spending a lot of time preparing for the test in class, maybe even too much. I guess some people need that though and all it will do it help. Some seem to be worried about the tie limit but i am not. maybe that is because i always take tests very fast. So fast that i get embarrassed to turn them i early so i wait around till someone else does. I have alot of stuff that i have to write into my book before we take the test, whenever that is

yes!!

i just watched the Grammys and there were some amazing performances. The moment that made me happiest was when blink 182 announced that they were back together. I was screaming! I have loved them forever and i may be a loser but i don't care and i can't wait for them to release some new songs. I got back from visiting UVA this morning and i slept all day even though it was beautiful outside. I had a rough night. UVA's campus is so different from ours it seems just to be more of a collage campus. The grounds are so pretty and everything just seems classier haha. The people dress so different from the the people here at VCU. Everyone looked so plain and dressed up it seemed strange. I don't think that there is anything you could wear here that would be shocking because everyone dresses so wild.I kind of like it.

so awesome

this is the paper i turned in

Stranger
I could heard the beep of the door alarm go off and the luggage rolling across the tiles of the kitchen floor. My older sister was texting me, even though she was in her room which was right across the hall from mine. She was asking me if I was going to go downstairs or not. I told her that I didn’t know. It was really dark outside and I was tired from the basketball practice I had had earlier in the evening. I was already perfectly settled underneath my covers ready to go to sleep, or at least I was pretending to be. I heard my younger sister was yelling for us from the bottom of the stair case, telling us that he was here. She and my mom had gone to the airport earlier to pick him up. He had just flown around two thousand five hundred miles from the west coast of California all the way to our east coast home in Virginia Beach. My dad was on a business trip that week and would be returning next day. My anxiety had been building up as usual and I was feeling very uncomfortable. I did not want to go down the stairs but I knew that it was something I just had to do. I pulled myself together as best as I could because I didn’t want to give off a rude first impression.
I absolutely hate awkward situations; I either don’t put myself in them or I avoid them in any way possible. When my parents told us about the visit we all seemed to be pretty uptight about it. I played it off like I was cool with it, but I had been nervous about this for a while now. None of us knew if this would turn out to be a good or a bad idea, it was just something that needed to happen either way. The whole situation was so strange to me because I didn’t really know what, why, or how things had happened in the past. All I knew was that I had never met this man before. He was a complete stranger to me.
I knew next to nothing about him, except for what I had seen in a picture of him when I was younger that only showed him from the mouth down. He was very tan and had a T-shirt with hieroglyphics on it which gave me the false impression that he was some sort of Egyptian. I didn’t have a clue as to what he would look like, how he would talk, or what his personality would really be like. I had really only herd his name, Kenneth, a couple of times throughout my life and it was never used in context to something I understood. I had heard him being referred to as “the guru” by my grandmother and aunt because he was an ardent follower of the many alternative health concepts and practices of Edgar Cayce. He believed in things like rubbing Castor oil all over your body to cure various liver conditions and eating one meal a day of strictly raw vegetables. Since my dad was a doctor, I could see how he could easily get into an argument with someone like Ken.
I was tired, but I made my way down the stairs as I was trying to listen through the walls. I creeped through the kitchen where my mom was sitting. She didn’t say anything she just gave me an awkward look and then a smile. I made my way through the sun room, and finally to the doorway of the guest room. I could see my little sister Eden holding his hand as if they were ending a greeting. He was very tall, over six feet and also very lean and in shape. This was probably because he did not own a car and instead used a bicycle as his only means of transportation. He definitely looked much younger than his seventy years of age. He had on jeans, a nice grey sweater, Birkenstock sandals, and some weird blue hat that sort of looked like smaller version of a beret. His grey beard was cut short and his eyes were very wide and teary. His nose was pretty large and protruding and the tip of it slanted downward, sort of like my dad’s nose. Overall he looked pretty goofy, like a character in some funny story or a man you would stare at in a store.
I had no plans for what I would do or say at this uneasy moment. We were both smiling as I stood there still. I then took his hand and introduced myself. He repeated my name, “Adrienne,” back to me. I guess my little sister had escaped from the room without me even noticing. It was just us two standing there and we were looking at each other dead straight in the eyes. It is really hard to describe, but the look on his face was filled with much joy, while at the same time it also seeming to have some sense of sadness buried in it somewhere. The room was filled with such a strange vibe. I went in for the hug out of instinct I guess. He smelt very earthy, like patchouli or something. I could tell that this moment meant a lot to him and I could see that he had been waiting for this for a very long time. I could sense that we were feeling some of the same emotions. They were so strong and overpowering but also unable to be differentiated or categorized. I held him tight, and while we were still in that moment I realized that this wasn’t very awkward at all. I felt a huge relief. I could hear the tears in his voice as he said very lightly into my ear, “granddaughter…finally… my granddaughter.”
It was rather late and everyone was sleepy so I left him and said something about seeing him in the morning. My older sister never came down that night, which is so like her because she is very shy. I made my way up to my room quickly so that I didn’t have to run into anyone on the way. I shut my door and let it all out. I was crying because I had to, because my feelings were uncontrollable. I felt happy and strange. I was somehow more contempt than I was before but I was also more upset because I was confused and angry about why this was happening now, when I was seventeen years old. I wondered why I had never really had a real conversation with my dad about why he had not seen his father for over twenty five years of his life.
I still do not know why my grandparents got divorced. My grandfather left his children right before my dad went to college and neither left or gave financial support to any of his family. He hasn’t had a real job since he retired from the military before the age of forty. He has never remarried, but has gone from one younger girlfriend to another, living with them instead of ever making a home of his own. He has been to more places than I ever will go and he seen and done many things that I will never even know about. I couldn’t tell you if my father has forgiven him or not. I will never forget the look in his face as he greeted Ken that next day. All I know is that he is still the only one in my family that has yet agreed to see or talk to him.
In those few seconds of a hug, I could feel a life of lost time. Every now and then we get a letter or an email with updates on his health or hobbies. My older sister says she hates him and that she would have been fine never having met him. She thinks he is a stubborn asshole. I am pretty stubborn myself; maybe that’s where I get it from. Maybe that’s where my father get’s it from too. I don’t know if I will ever see Ken again. He is very old and I don’t see myself going to California by myself any time soon. All I know is that the blood that runs through my veins is his. Without his existence I would not be a part of this world. He is a stranger, but I love him.

...

My favorite and only blog i read is Perez Hilton. I usually hate celebrity gossip but Perez's blog is actually funny and interesting. He always has the juiciest stuff and i always look to him to see if a rumor is true or not. Like a couple months ago, i saw one facebook that Little Wayne was shot dead! i clicked a link that showed an article about his killing and and it looked very legitimate. I looked all around the internet for more information because i was still in doubt but shortly enough i looked to Perez Hilton and he has already put the rumor in its place. His blog has a topic. This one doesn't. I never know what to write about in here so i just try to think until something pops up in my head. I just checked Perez and found out that Lilly Allen in coming on tour to the U.S.! What would i do without him!

www.perezhilton.com

"Parallel Play"

"developmental stage of social activity in which children play with toys like those the children around them are using but are absorbed in their own activity and usually play beside rather than with one another.Children in this stage may comment on what they are doing or imitate what another child does, but they rarely cooperate in a task or engage in dramatic play or formal games with others." ( http://social.jrank.org/pages/452/Parallel-Play.html)


After reading this definition, i really appreciate the title of the essay. It really fits the syndrome that the author has. I don't really understand how Asperger syndrome is anything more than a type of personality. The author is obviously very intelligent he just thinks an interacts socially a little bit different than normal. But what is normal? I can relate to this essay even though i don't have the syndrome myself. I supposedly have mild obsessive compulsive and anxiety disorders and I also have now taken seven different medications for ADHD. You never know what someone might have wrong with them or what they have to deal with every day.
There is a ton of outside sources included and a lot of them were things i didn't know about, more like references. The style of writing sort of shows the personality and even way of thinking that the writer has. I think the essay is trying to communicate his own personal experience to bring understanding to people who may not know about Asperger's or other " syndromes" and to relate to those who do.

January 31

So this Saturday was my nineteenth birthday and it was pretty fun. I had a crazy weekend but it was weird having my birthday here at school. It was the first birthday I've ever had with out my parents. There was no family dinner or anything like that so it was kind of strange. It's sad i feel like every year my birthday gets less and less important. When i was little it was my favorite day and now its just a special day. I guess we just get less excited about some things as we get older. It's also gets harder to have fun.

more "Dew Breaker"...

There are sooooo many different characters in the " Dew Breaker." Each separate story has it's own list. Each story has a character that is affected by the dew breaker in some way. Each fragment of the novel is told through the story of the a different characters. In the end they are all connected. There are also endless themes throughout this book. Here are some that i can think of; immigration, culture, family, love, confusion, evil, remorse, regret,hate, violence,the past, family, secrets, and forgiveness. Basically everything that happens can be put into a theme so it's hard to pick them out.
The section i was assigned today was "Water Child." I understood the section far better after analyzing it than after just reading it. Having to list the characters in order of importance also made me look at it a different way. Each section of this book has so much more in it that whats on the surface. I think i will have a far better understanding of how they all connect when i can read what the other groups did today. It will also be easier to understand the novel as a whole.

r.i.p. joosey joose

So i am very upset about this but it looks like were going to have to say goodbye to a few of the drinks that are conveniently found at any seven- eleven. Supposedly there is now a "settlement" with MillerCoors banning alcohol based energy drinks. A reason that they gave is that sparks makes kids go " Nutso." I don't understand how this can even be legally banned. I thought this was a free country. Sure, i bet drinking a sparks is probably not good for you, but neither is drinking any alcoholic drink? If they are banning this because it's bad for kids then why aren't they banning all energy drinks in general. What about red bull and vodka? or jagerbombs? Can those be banned too? I just don't really understand.
The official announcement says that caffeinated alcoholic drinks can "distort judgment, weaken inhibitions and encourage risky behavior, especially in young people." Aren't those the effects of alcohol in general? It also says that the effects can hide how drunk the person really is. They will be under the same affects of alcohol but feel more alert. Kids are going to get drunk no matter what. I would think that being more alert would be a good thing. Maybe i am just upset for personal reasons. Soon I will no longer be able to purchase a night of energy and fun for under three dollars. Maybe we can all just start chopping up caffeine pills and putting it in shots or or just buying energy drinks and alcohol and mixing it together ourselves. People want to get drunk, stay awake, and have the energy to enjoy it and a ban is not going to control this, it's just going to make it a little bit harder.

article- http://johnnycalifornia.com/?p=2649

"Tricked"

It says that this is a " childhood narrative of becoming self aware." I wonder how long it took the author to realize the significance of these events. How long did he hold in his hostile feelings for the Tomkeys? Did he only realize the importance when looking back on his childhood? I think this essay was a good example to read while working on our own. It showed some pretty straightforward ways to put outside resources into your paper.
The point of view is the author looking back on the past just like in " Death of a Fish." They are similar for obvious reasons, they both are personal essays, and they both focus on a main event. They are different because "Death of a Fish" is from the parent's point of view and " Tricked" is the author writing about what happened to himself as a child.
The television references used were probably aimed more towards an older audience than me but they were still publicly relevant. Television doesn't show things how they are in the real world. Most things on TV can give you false hopes or standards. Most Americans can relate to Halloween and can think about or remember their own huge bags of candy that they hid away from others. He used real trademark names that his readers would recognize. The essay doesn't really give off a good impression of the authors character; it shows him to be selfish, greedy and judgmental. I guess that's what he learned and is trying to communicate, not to be those things.

" Death of a Fish"

This reading made me think of the many childhood pets that i have lost. This might be weird, but in my backyard at home we have a tiny pet cemetery. I've lost count but between me and my two sisters it has about 4 or 5 different small rodent type animals in it. Mine was named pineapple. One time my little sister's hamster,Bean, died and she was so upset that my mom put together a little hamster wake and and funeral. We also have these pet urn type things with the ashes of our childhood dog and our recently deceased 23 year old cat.
This essay looks at it from the parents point of view. It must be hard to have to explain things like death to your child. You want to protect them from everything bad in the world for as long as you can but eventually things start happening and questions start to come up that have to be answered. Death can be a hard concept to grasp even when you are an adult. I know that i was extremely afraid of it when i was a child and maybe because it wasn't something that i had even been aware of until the first death of a family member. Maybe i would of understood or dealt with it better if i had had a Bluie in my life.
The essay is about more that just the death of a fish. It taps into questions about different views and beliefs on death, parenthood, and the minds of children. The experience is easy to relate to. It is publicly relevant to anyone that has ever had a pet and lost them or even lost anyone that was close to them. The essay was published in the New Yorker and was definitely relevant to it's audience. It talks specifically about having pets in New York and it is from the parents point of view which is suitable for the older audience that is more likely to read that magazine. There is a lot of outside research and i almost don't even like the ending because of it. Maybe it's because i haven't even seen that movie but i just don't like that ending for some reason.
The parents end up learning a lesson from the child i think. She was connected to that fish and even though she is young she is not a fool. Even though they did it with good intention, replacing the fish and trying to pass it off as Bluie probably wasn't the best thing to do. You can't hide your child from something that is real, and death is something that everyone is going to be affected by throughout their life and even experience themselves. When this happens to my kids, i know what i won't do.

"Vital Signs"

Today nobody in our group had done this reading and we all sort of picked a section of it to try and skim over so that we could somewhat participate in what we were supposed to be doing in class. The section i got was the end part of how the girl remembered the incident and how her mother found her and how she got to the hospital. I just finished reading the whole essay and obviously now it makes more sense. It's not just a memoir of how she got attacked by vicious huskies. The opening of the essay is about her stay in the hospital and then the essay tells you how she got there. The end part with the fish shows sometime in her life after the attack. I like the "Small Purchase" section the best. What happened to her as a little girl was so horrible and there are many people who have gone through something like that. When something like that happens to someone, they may loose all hope but they also may get something surprisingly good out of the experience. I think it is really cute that she found a fish that also lost his eye and that she could connect to it.The way she describes what the fish does in its tank lets us know some of the ways that she went on living her life after the attack. This essay is a sad one and it is about something scary and unfortunate that happened but it is also an essay about hope,strength, courage, and resilience.

peer revisions

I always hate peer editing. I hate having to read out loud or let people read my papers, especially when they are incomplete and shitty. It makes me very uncomfortable unless i am proud of my work, which i am usually not.I think it is just embarrassing to me and awkward. The way we did the revisions in class was helpful. We had no choice of who would read our papers so it wasn't as easy as just pairing up with a friend and switching papers with them. I wish it would of been anonymous or something. I like this way a lot better than having to hear your paper read out loud to you that sucked. I got a lot of helpful feedback that i wouldn't of noticed on my own. I like that we got to ask questions that they had to address. As far as editing other peoples paper goes, i can give my opinion but i am not sure that my advice is too great. I tried to give good feedback but if i can't even figure out my own paper than how am i supposed to help someone else.

unit 1 paper topic

I think the hardest part of my Unit 1 paper will be coming up with an idea that works. The writing exercise we did in class had some interesting results. Some of the people and things that popped into my head were obvious but some of them were either really random or things or people that i haven't even thought about in a while or i guess just never even realized that they were significant to me until having to write down this list. It's hard to look at your life and everything that has ever happened to you and pick out some important moment. I don't even remember a lot of the moments that made me who i am today. I can list the changes that i have gone through but it is very difficult to pick out the events or moments that caused them. The moment that i ended up writing about in the activity was when i met my dad's dad a few years ago. I guess technically he is my grandfather but i feel strange even saying that word because he was a stranger that had no part in my life until my junior year of high school. The moment was an odd and significant moment in my life because it made me think of myself, my family, my past, and my whole life a little bit differently. There are many ways i could make my paper publicly relevant. I didn't do this on purpose, but like "The Dew Breaker" this moment greatly affected the way that i saw my own father and obviously my grandfather, along with other member's of my family. It made me rethink what family really means and how being blood related to someone connects you to them or how you can define who a relative is. It made me feel the importance of knowing about your past and where and who you come from and how it can affect you or even not affect you. Also how is it possible that an encounter with a stranger can affect you as much as this did me. The problem i am having with this topic is that it is an event that was unexpectedly very emotional for me. I have yet to even fully grasp the situation and i have found myself trying to force my brain to stop even thinking about it because of the different emotions that it surfaces. It is something that is not settled in my mind and i just don't know if i should pick a topic that would be easier or just simpler. I would pick something else but a rough draft is due tomorrow and i haven't thought of anything else good yet so i guess i am going to just give it a try and then if my rough draft is even shittier that it's supposed to be i will just have to try something else.

articles

I just finished reading the four Dew Breaker articles. I thought that " Home is Where the Heart is" was obviously very long and detailed and it had a ton of information in it about Danticat's other book which confused me a little. It also had alot of information about Daticat's personal history and some parts of it really helped me to further understand the book like the Homecomings section that picked apart "Night Talker's." My favorite of the articles was Bob Corbett's comments. It explains how the the book has traces of real events and how the book is neither a book of short stories or an average formatted novel. The articles all point out important themes present throughout the stories and story as a whole.
I like the way the stories fit together as a puzzle. A book that makes you think helps to keep your interest. Also having to put things together really makes you remember and connect to the stories. " The Dew Breaker" is a book that brings you to awareness of a real issue in a different way. You can see what happened in Haiti and the effects is through the characters. You can almost feel the horror, sadness, loss, and the fear that fill the lives of the victims that are portrayed. I feel like this method of bringing awareness is more affective than just reading a history book or listening to the news or something along those lines. For example, think about the Holocaust. We can read about the number of people who died, what happened, why, when, and where it took place and we can learn about it that way. Or, we can read "The Diary of Anne Frank", watch a movie like "Schindler's List" or even visit the remains of a real concentration camp. I think that you can only truly grasp the effect or significance of something if you find way to see it though the eyes of the people that experienced or were affected by it. You can better understand something if you can somehow relate it to yourself and your own life and i think that the "Dew Breaker" does this for us.

1 year

I missed a couple days on here so i am trying to make up for it now... It's sort of hard to find things to write about. I saw the Dark Knight for the first time a couple of days ago which is strange because i am a big fan of many comic book heroes,Batman being somewhere at the top of the list. It's also strange because today, January 22, 2009, marks the one year anniversary of the passing of Heath Ledger. I can remember last year when everyone was finding out the shocking news.I'll admit, i was at a school basketball game and i had to go to the bathroom to hide and cry over it. It was weird because of course i did not know him as a person or anything but it just seemed like such a huge waste of a life full of talent. We've seen him as the modern day Petruccio, a knight, a cowboy, and even the joker. I can't even imagine how many amazing roles that he would of played throughout his life if he would of had the chance. It is crazy that this happened a whole entire year ago. It is still just as shocking to me. It makes me realize that this year has gone by very fast. Everything seems to be going so slow while it is happening but then once it has happened is seems to of flown by so quickly. So much has happened to me this year. I had my senior year of high school, graduation, the whole summer, i left my friends, family and home,started college and made new friends, and finished the whole first semester. All that remains from that all is a few memories, lessons, and changes. It really seems like that day, January 22, 2008, had just happened. It's also weird to think about who we, as a generation, will see die in our lifetime. Specifically, the famous people that we all know from the movies and songs we've grown up to. I wonder who's next?

yes we did

I didn't have class on Tuesday because the one class that i dad have was canceled. I think that it was ridiculous that classes were scheduled during the inauguration. We get off for "reading days" and stupid things like that but not for Obama's inauguration. I wasn't surprised by how many people showed up. It looked insanely ridiculously packed. I would of liked to go but i had no way to get there. i had a sort of odd feeling while watching it. It was such momentus day for our country and it really made me feel like things are going to start looking up for America. I was very affected by something Dianne Feinstein said in her welcoming remarks. She said that "future generations will mark this morning as the turning point for real and necessary change in this nation. They will look back and remember that this was the moment when the dream that once echoed across history from the steps of the Lincoln Memorial finally reached the walls of the White House." her statement gave me the chills and it made me realize just how significant this day really was in our history and how important it is pertaining to the state of our future. I am looking forward to how and when these changes that have been promised to us will come to place

Why is it like under twenty degrees outside? i can not stand how cold it is here. I have basically stayed in the past two nights in a row only from fear of the cold outside. I wore two coats, a scarf, and earmuffs today and i was still freezing. My nose and face felt like they were frozen. The wind hurts and it it almost unbearable to even walk to class. I know am going to get sick soon because of the weather and because everyone around me is getting sick. The dorms are like a cesspool for whatever is going around and it's disgusting. I hate having to go out looking for food here. It takes too much time to eat because you have to go somewhere in order to do so. I miss my kitchen and i miss my dog and right not i am especially missing my hot tub.

The Dew Breaker

To me, Elements of Fiction seemed to be basically just a list of definitions and explanations of literary terms that i already knew. As i read it i thought of how each term was used in Danticat's book. The Dew Breaker has a different set of plot and characters in each short story but they all come together to form the plot of the novel as a whole. I enjoyed reading a book that was formatted in this way because my attention span is quite short and the length of the different stories helped me to keep interest in what was going on. It was like a puzzle, trying to put everything together and see how everything was connected or related. The elements of fiction are always present in a story but i guess this reading just gives us the terms to talk about them and point them out.
The way Danticat wrote the different settings throughout the book really gave you an understanding of the mood of the environments that the characters were placed in. It was easy to visualize what was being described. The tone of the novel changed, some parts were obviously more serious than others. There were also many different themes throughout the story; The violence and political corruption in Haiti, culture, family, love, forgiveness, remorse and others.
The research that i did showed me more about Haiti and about the author, Edwidge Danticat. Even though it is a fiction story, there is factual information and characters throughout the novel and Danticat is also obviously writing from some of her own personal life experiences. In my research saw that Haiti is the poorest country in the western hemisphere and among the poorest in the world. Because of it's location and weak government, Haiti is a major transport point for all of the cocaine coming into america from Columbia. Almost all of the Haitian people are descendants of African slaves brought over to harvest sugar cane or mulatto descendants of the French settlers. There was also a ton of depressing information of the widespread poverty devastationg the nation.
At my high school we had an exchange student from Haiti whose name was Emmanuel. He was in my French class but quickly got moved to AP, since French was his main language. He was also in my ceramics class and was extremely talented. His parents were still in Haiti and he was living with some family friend. This book reminded me of him a lot. He would always get asked questions about Haiti and would try to explain things to us about what is was like but i never really understood what he was talking about. Now i do. I actually did enjoy reading this book( waaaaayy more than covering..) and i am looking forward for the movie to come out.